Thought is painful again and difficult
The material unyielding and unpromising
But better to say I've lost my way
Or that walls or undergrowth
And other obstructions on the path
Or the moonless night
Or a trackless landscape
—Let my dreams decide—
Bar my way or obscure my vision
Or leave me without a road
They don't know how confused
Agony and paralysis of mind
To be endured, suffered patiently
—And sometimes I endure, sometimes
I am hopeless like a patient bullock
That strains to the sting of his driver's goad—
Without clarity or focus or direction
As half-discerned a pattern’s shimmer fails
Not my choice the moment when it lifts
My condition of stupidity
In a spurt of excitement and speed of thought
Surge and surprise of connections
Then familiar ground, eerie memory:
Not an inch further than before
And only now does thinking start
Again creeping slowly forwards
But with such a calm of mind
Noticing everything
Effort precedes and follows
The brief freedom of vision
The vivid effortless moments they all praise
The commanding view from the tower
Where visiting is restricted
To a few, unannounced, summer days
The material unyielding and unpromising
But better to say I've lost my way
Or that walls or undergrowth
And other obstructions on the path
Or the moonless night
Or a trackless landscape
—Let my dreams decide—
Bar my way or obscure my vision
Or leave me without a road
They don't know how confused
Agony and paralysis of mind
To be endured, suffered patiently
—And sometimes I endure, sometimes
I am hopeless like a patient bullock
That strains to the sting of his driver's goad—
Without clarity or focus or direction
As half-discerned a pattern’s shimmer fails
Not my choice the moment when it lifts
My condition of stupidity
In a spurt of excitement and speed of thought
Surge and surprise of connections
Then familiar ground, eerie memory:
Not an inch further than before
And only now does thinking start
Again creeping slowly forwards
But with such a calm of mind
Noticing everything
Effort precedes and follows
The brief freedom of vision
The vivid effortless moments they all praise
The commanding view from the tower
Where visiting is restricted
To a few, unannounced, summer days
No comments:
Post a Comment